Thursday, February 10, 2011

Month of Hearts Day 10

I guess I didn't really tell you about my trip too much. I went with my 3 youngest children and my parents. Long story short, my husband was left home alone. It was the first time I had gone down there without him and it's the first time he has been alone in the house for more than 3 hours. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with himself.

He made a lot of plans to go out with his buddies but he called one night saying how much he missed all of us. I started laughing because in my mind I was thinking that he was going to enjoy his freedom and wish he had more of it and I told him this. He said emphatically that this could never be. He said he loved our life and just wanted us home with him. He said that yes, our life was a bit stressful but he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!

The next day I was writing in my journal reflecting on what he said.

"How lucky am I? My husband loves me...he adores me and our kids and wants nothing more than to be with us even if that means living in stress and commuting over 3 hours to work each day. I dream of being that content with my life. Of course I am in love with my family and would do everything and anything to be with them but I have never felt that level of contentment in my life. Whenever I go away I long for a change in our lives, a simplification. The reality is that this is my life and for now I don't see it changing much. I imagine that learning to live like Ed would be so much more satisfying. I hate that I am always wanting more, searching for better. Is it a part of my nature? Who I am? Does it help me in some way or is it a flaw in my personality? Well at least I am sharing my life with someone who lives a life of satisfaction and appreciation."

I really think this goes back to my word of the year, Abundance. Just realizing how lucky I am to have such a wonderful, loving husband and awesome kids is an exercise in abundance! And having the opportunity to witness the pure abundance in my husband allowed me to recognize my own feelings of lack and by recognizing them I can shine a light on them and pull them out of the shadows.

I have more thoughts on this and will share them with you tomorrow! :o)


  1. Michelle! First, beautiful heart! So so much. LOVE is my devotion for DEEP, and I am LOVING your hearts this month!

    Second, that post, change the location details or number of children, but otherwise, same exact dynamic in our family.

    This... this what? This being different than my husband, I have much guilt wrapped around my needing different ways than he. Sigh. Such goodness here.

    So what you wrote in your journal. It really really resonates. Rings a bell. Hits home. All of that. So I'm waiting patiently to read your thoughts tomorrow...!

    I'm rambling... until tomorrow! :o)

  2. Thank you so much Tracy! It's always nice to know that we are not alone right?! I am so glad you are digging DEEP. I wish I was there too! xo