Thursday, July 28, 2011
And then there are times when I see a new creative project that someone is launching or a new vibrant piece of art that has been posted, or a new workshop, class, tip, or hint that has been put out and I think, "Wow, that's amazing! I should do something like that!"
And then my brain starts to swirl and wonder how I could create something like this person or that person. Before long I start to compare myself and inevitably I come up short because it is impossible that I could be just like anyone. If I'm not careful I start to think I'm not good enough or I don't know enough or I'll just never get it right.
You see, I've been so deep in my own creativity lately that things have been coming to me effortlessly. I've been attracting awesome new people into my life and ideas have emerged that are still in the formative stages yet I can feel that they are new, different, and completely mine. Being immersed so deeply in my own creative flow I forgot what it feels like to compare myself to to others and to desire to be like anyone else. When those old feelings started to stir in me this week I had this aha moment that, wow, I used to feel like this all the time!
I am happy for the reminder because it confirms that I am on the right path and it shows me how much I've grown recently. I find that often times when we change, we forget what life was like before and unless we are shown our past we may not fully understand the depth of our growth.
So I had my aha moment, laughed at myself and gave myself a little bit of gratitude and focused on all the cool things that I have going on and poof, the feelings passed! Gotta love it!
Friday, July 22, 2011
So here is the power of Soul Art®! So far I have talked to 2 different people about Soul Art® in my normal everyday life. One was a friend and another was a mom from my son's baseball team that I don't know that well.
As I said in my previous post, I don't normally mix my mommy life with my creative, intuitive life so this is pretty huge for me!
But the best thing is that I was able to define Soul Art®, discuss the value and the benefits of it and it happened so easily. The block was gone, the words flowed and I was able to express what was inside just waiting to come out. I am really so excited about this. I'm telling you, it makes me want to do it everyday!
I just want to thank you all for your support! I sooooo appreciate it!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I have one final assignment before I complete my Soul Art certification course. I've been working on it for ages now. It really isn't a difficult task, I need to create my own definition of what Soul Art is, describe the value and the benefits. You'd think I was asked to replicate the statue of David or something by how hard I've been struggling with this.
I've written pages upon pages of things. I've scratched things out, moved things around. I tried typing it. I tried speaking it. I tried explaining it to my friend on the phone. Nothing has worked. I was online today looking at what other students posted and what Laura writes and trying to figure out something for myself.
At one point I wrote on a piece of paper, "What the f*ck is wrong with me? Why is this so f*cking difficult?!" And then it occurred to me. Why don't I do a Soul Art journey and see if I can get some clarity that way? Duh!
So I traced some body parts and got to doodling. I haven't tried this yet so it was pretty interesting. I was surprised at how easily it flowed. A woman emerged with a large hat, flowing hair, and a large earring.
Once I finished the doodle, I dove in to uncover the insight. There was some great stuff here. You may notice that her hat and her clothing are bright and beautiful but her face and hair are black and white. Also she is looking away and hiding beneath her large "dress." All around her are little stars and dots that seem magical.
The insight I received was all about not trying to present myself as something on the outside and to just let what is inside of me be bright and colorful. Also, realizing that the magic is all around me and within in me and that I don't need to look outside myself to find anything. I don't need to hide who I truly am because I'm fine just the way I am.
This really goes back to the fact that I seem to be living two different lives that I am trying to merge into one. I am the tough, no nonsense mom who says it like it is and gets things done (left brain) and then I am the spiritual, artistic Creative Healing Coach who accesses her intuition (right brain). It seems that there is a pretty hard line that divides the two and this is part of the problem I have been having with choosing the "perfect" words to define Soul Art. Who is doing the talking? Is it my left brain or is it my right? Can I connect the two and integrate both parts and come up with a definition that feels right to both? This has been the struggle.
I know, it doesn't seem right that all that juicy insight came from such a simple little doodle. I am continually blown away by how powerful and effective the tools are for eliciting insight.
My action step is to talk to someone about Soul Art in person who doesn't know about it or doesn't even know that I am doing it. It has to be someone I wouldn't normally think would be interested (my mommy side doesn't really talk about my artsy side to my friends...they think I am a little out there).
So that is the plan and I have to do it by Monday. Let then integrating begin (and the defining of Soul Art ;o)
Monday, July 18, 2011
One year ago today I wrote the first blog post on The Creative Healing Studio. It was a fresh beginning and I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going. I just knew I had to make the change and I'm so glad I did.
1. I'm Not Good Enough - Meeting my inner friend Sophia and giving her a chance to speak.
2. Jealous of My Vacation Life- Finding ways to bring a little vacation into my everyday life.
3. Becoming Fearless- A journal page exploring fear.
4. Who Am I?- Fearless painting and diving deep into who I am at the core.
5. Healing With Paint - Diving into illness with paint
6. Painting Freedom - A video showing my healing with paint process
7. Wild Heart Painting Retreat - My 5 day retreat in California with Chris Zydel
8. An Artful Journey - My 3 day painting retreat with Jesse Reno
9. Mosaic Soul Art - Revisiting my old love of mosaics and combining them with my new love of Soul Art
10. Got an Issue? Art it Out! - My latest post about using art to find my own answers
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I'm really good at seeing other people's issues and helping them get clarity on them, helping them dive in and see what might be going on below the surface, guiding them to find their answers and supporting them while they make those changes. It really comes quite naturally to me.
You'd think that I would have the same ability to do that for myself wouldn't ya? Well, damn it, it's just not that easy when I am so close to it. Grrrrrr. It seems to take me so much longer to recognize my own issues and even when I recognize them I can't always get clarity. What a cosmic joke. :o)
I have to tell you that the tools I've been using with the Soul Art have really increased my ability to listen to my inner wisdom and to see my life through a different lens. It's almost like viewing my life on a movie screen. It's incredible how that disassociation can really illuminate things.
The latest piece I did is posted above. Now I have to tell you that I'm beginning to long for some paint and art materials but I know summer is not a great time for me to do that so I am forever grateful that I can still express myself, tune into my inner wisdom, and get the clarity I need with a couple of magazines.
I've been having this issue around my kids' baseball lives. It's quite a long, drawn out and boring story but let me tell you it has been filled with drama and has played out with 3 of my kids and a multitude of different people over the span of 3 years. OK, I get it Universe, You're trying to tell me something...trying to teach me something.
Now looking at the piece above you would never guess that it has anything to do with kids baseball would you? I know, it's crazy. It's like a dream. There are all these snippets here and there that seem unrelated but there is a thread that connects them. It's my own soul language that only I can decipher and it is amazing at how loud and clear it is.
I was able to pinpoint what is going on under the surface. What lesson I need to learn and I even came up with an action step to help me in those times of drama. I felt like I was floating on a cloud of happiness when I finished this journey.
It is always shocking to me the wisdom that comes out of me when I am in touch with my Source. I will share with you a snippet of my communications:
Love your life, make it a dream, allow your happiness and joy to spread outward and to infect those around you. Don't allow the egos of others to pull you down. Be the best you can be. Treat people who wrong you as small children who just don't know how to play nice. Realize that it is all they know and bless them where they are. Know that they are doing their best and then pull your energy back to where it can be strong...back within you which is the only place it has any power.
That is powerful stuff and came from that magazine collage. I'm so in awe of this process and its potential for truth. And if you think you don't have it in you, I promise that you do. I've never worked with anyone who didn't have that infinite wisdom within themselves. They just needed help finding it. Here are a few recent clients and what their experience was like.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
I just love watching the interaction of the boys together. It's really like a completely different culture these teenagers. They seem to grunt and mumble yet they understand each other. I just went into their room and the floor is covered with dirty clothes and there is quite a smell seeping under the crack of the door. Yet, there they lie, on their computers and phones, watching TV and goofing around together. Happy as can be. Not bothered by any of it.
The other aspect of this trip I am finding fascinating is to watch the relationship the other mom I am with has with her 2 boys. The way she talks to them, the way she treats them and the way they treat her. It is so interesting to see another family dynamic.
I catch myself going back and forth between thinking "Ugh! Why does she let him do that?" to "Oh look how sweet it is that her son is carrying that chair for her and she didn't even ask. Where the hell is my son and why isn't he helping me?" It's like going back and forth between judgment and jealousy.
I am so happy that I am aware of my thoughts enough to be able to catch myself in these moments and take a bit of time to reflect on them. I've been thinking about trying to learn some lessons from these moments together with all of these different souls to make this trip successful on a whole new level.
Here are the top 3 lessons I have learned so far:
1. Love always wins
Watching my friend interact with her sons there is one common theme that runs throughout every word and every action and that is love. You know she loves her boys...she adores them and she lets them know every chance she gets.
She seems to treat them as if they are still small boys at times, excessively worrying about them, doting on them, doing things for them and really taking care of them.
Now, I LOVE AND ADORE my son yet our relationship is more of an adult relationship where I expect him to be mature. He knows I love him, I tell him several times a day but it's different.
I think there are positive traits to both styles and I think I've learned that it's OK for me to let go and give him the kind of love I gave him when he was little...in small doses. :o)
2. Boys will be boys and it's OK
I was raised to behave. To be polite at all costs, not to make a scene, not to be loud, and not to "get into trouble." I find myself getting frustrated at some of the things these teenage boys are saying and doing at times. Now I assure you it really isn't anything terrible. They aren't breaking anything, being disrespectful or what-have-you. They are really just being boys.
I watch as my friend sits by and lets them be who they are and doesn't feel the need to step in and tell them what they should be saying or doing the way I am compelled to do. I watch as she smiles and relaxes as they do things that would normally make me cringe (yes, I have high expectations). :o)
I have been stepping back and letting my son be his own person. It's funny because on one hand I'm learning to love him more like a boy and to respect him more like a man. Wow, that's huge!
3. I am proud of my bravery
I am used to being who I am and I guess I don't always give myself credit for my positive traits. Being on the road with my friend and watching her make decisions based on fears has been enlightening. It's been so funny to watch our reactions to different situations. Usually I am thinking, "Wow, that's so great!" or "How cool!" and she is thinking, "Oh, that is so scary." or "That freaks me out."
I used to be there girl that thought of every worst case scenario and thought it through in my head over and over again. I would catch myself driving down the street imagining a car crash or thinking about something happening to my children. I have worked very hard for years to release myself from that and while I knew I conquered it, seeing someone else do it really shone a light on my healing.
I am heading off to sleep knowing that I am learning, growing, and healing and I am grateful for the lessons I am learning. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Energy flows through my body. I am alive, excited and in love with life!
This is my final healing mosaic mandala I did in the series. I had intended on doing 10 but 9 ended up being the magic number and it makes sense since they look good hanging together in groups of 3.
The materials used smalti, sicis, glass gems, mini vitreous tiles, transparent glass tiles, and gold tiles used upside down to show their brilliant turquoise color.
I have to say that this was such a wonderful experience to create art from the kind of freedom that I experienced with these mandalas. I felt as if I were in the flowing energy of the Universe and I loved every minute of it. I can't wait for the next experience of its kind! Thank you all so much for being part of it!