Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
I created this journal page today. I used one of the pencil drawings I did from the class with Pam Carriker and added paint to it. When I finished it I was taken with the eyes. They seemed to have depth to them and you know how much I love eyes.
I looked into the eyes and wondered what they had to say. I started writing the answer on the neck. It's amazing the truth that comes out of these journal sessions. Such power. I love it.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
During that visualization I saw a long, skinny little girl that was all blue with big sad eyes. She was hiding under a table in the dark. I asked her what her name was and she said Sophia.
When I talked to her I discovered that she needed to be heard, she needed to be acknowledged. Even after the visualization I never went any deeper with this...still not giving her a voice I guess.
When I hung up the phone I immediately got my journal out and started drawing her as I had seen her in my visualization, hiding under the table. When I finished the drawing I began writing.
I had a little conversation with her to discover more about why she is here, why she is holding me back and I discovered that there is a safety factor. She keeps me safe. I let her rant and ramble about all the ways she isn't good enough, all the ways she sucks at life. I wrote back and forth, asking her questions. It was a fast, free writing and the final sentences I wrote to her were, "The light is here for you. It is yours to own. Let yourself out of the dark and allow yourself to bask in the warmth and the joy of the light."
That last bit of writing inspired me and I went on to create another journal page that represented this. I switched the energy and let Sophia into the light. It was fast and furious creating, I just let it flow.
After creating the image I did some positive free writing that was so inspirational to me. I encouraged her to remember that the light is always here and that it is only when we hide from it as she was, under the table, that we are cut off from it. I talked to her about fear and what a lie it is...that there is really nothing to fear. I told her that she deserves love and nurturing and that I was going to give it to her.
Now of course Sophia has been with me a long time and doing this exercise has shifted the way I think about this "negative" part of who I am. By giving her a name and having a conversation with her like she is a small child, I am not compelled to try to get rid of her. Instead of trying to kill her off, I am compelled to give her the voice she is asking for and to listen to her when she is feeling that uneasy feeling.
So the next time she was getting antsy I created this image and once again began writing. I wrote in black pen all the things she has to say...All the negative stuff, her deep dark unhappiness.
She spoke of spending her life hiding deep below the surface with no one to talk to, feeling lonely. She spoke of fear and of being stuck. She asked...no begged to be heard, to be loved and embraced.
Monday, July 26, 2010
I didn't have a lot of collage materials or any collage images so I turned to magazines to find things that I like. I really wanted to put a peony on the page because it is one of my favorite flowers but I couldn't find one. I found a delicious purple cone flower that I LOVED though. That ended up representing beauty to me.
I found a picture of the earth which represents my love of travel and culture. The hand just spoke to me. I didn't really know why but later when I was writing, the words connection and love just magically appeared on the page. So cool.
I love eyes! I've always loved eyes. It is the one part of my body that no matter how much I weigh or how sick I feel always looks good. I've had lots of compliments on my eyes and I still remember the first time my husband looked into my eyes. He seemed to get a bit lost in there and then shook his head and said, "Wow, you have really pretty eyes." Sent my heart a little pitter patter. Of course the eyes are the window to the soul so that is what they represented here.
I am drawn to warm colors, red, orange, gold, and a touch of pink and that love emerged in the color palette for this piece. I love swirls and spirals and dots and doodles so I had to add those in. What great fun this was and I feel like I am a bit closer to uncovering my style.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Here is a sketch done in graphite using her techniques. It was interesting to learn how she shades and how she lays out the face to get the proper proportions. I am excited to do more and more and more!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The photos in this post and in the header of the blog are photos of my first painting in my journal. I was quite pleased with the entire process. I went out into my screen room early in the morning and just started painting. I didn't know what was going to come out of it and I was pleasantly surprised by it.