Sometimes I wonder who I am. What makes me tick.
Some days I am fueled with the need to create in any way, shape, or form.
Other days I can't fathom the idea of putting art supply to paper.
Some days I am the best mom in the world, helping the kids with their homework, carting them to their next event, playing games with them and laughing.
Other days I wish they would just play quietly by themselves and leave me be.
Some days I am the most amazing and loving wife, showering my husband with loving caresses, kind words and passionate kisses.
Other days, I wish he would just leave me alone for God's sake.
Some days I am so motivated to clean and organize my house no matter how tired I am.
Other days, I walk right past the shoes, clothes, and toys that are strewn about.
Some days I think I can do anything and I am amazing.
Other days I look at the mirror and see the reflection staring back at me and I think, "why can't you get it right?"
I am a living dichotomy.
I wonder when I will ever merge these different aspects of who I am to create one whole being that knows how to just be.
Or is this just who I am, who I will always be, two different aspects pushing and pulling like a the great forces of the universe?
Can I learn to embrace the yin and the yang of who I am?
Can I harness the powers that each aspect brings to me?
Can I just allow who whatever aspect of me to emerge?
Can I trust that who I am in any given moment is enough?
I choose to be gentle with myself.
To strive to be better.
To allow myself to be less than perfect.
I am getting better at it every day.