What I didn't realize back then is that there is a difference between bragging about yourself and believing in yourself. In the process of not wanting to brag about myself I actually stopped believing in myself.
This showed up for me big time the other day when I was talking to my friend about something or other. She asked me point blank, "Well Michelle, What are you good at?" Holy cow. I stuttered and I stammered and I couldn't get a word out. I started laughing to deflect the nervous tension and I was shocked at how difficult it was.
I was able to stutter out a few things I was good at only when I put the word "sometimes" in front of it. Ha ha, how funny. Sometimes I'm good at this and other times I'm not. Well, I'm a realist I guess and it had to feel right for me but hey, it's a bridge right?
My frend and I already send each other a daily email filled with all kinds of positive affirmations and gratitude so we decided to add something we are good at each day. Of course I started out writing my "sometimes" in there but more and more I've found myself just writing "I'm good at..." It's getting easier and easier. Yay!
I recently went to get my hair cut with a new girl who was recommended by a friend. She has an in home salon as well as her own location. I didn't really know a lot about her when I went to see her. I simply trusted my friend and love her hair so I knew it would be good.
As I spoke to her I found out that she had been with a high end salon in a very posh town. She was the top earner in the salon and when someone called and asked for the best, they booked them with her. She was telling me all these stories about her past and at one point she said, "I not tying to brag but I worked hard to get that reputation and I'm proud of it."
Do you know that there was not one moment in that conversation where I thought she was bragging or talking herself up. It felt genuine and she exuded a confidence that was well earned. So that is what I am striving for. Believing in myself and my talents and earning the right to share them with others without the need to inflate myself. Woo! That feels good!