It's Bigger Than The Painting

I have been busy creating all kinds of artwork here in my home, safe and hidden from prying eyes. Free to just put the brush to the paper and paint whatever comes up for me. I haven't felt like I wanted to share any of it because I didn't think it was blog worthy.

That got me to thinking about why I create. What is the purpose of spending this time alone in my house creating art I don't want to share? I pondered this as I looked through some of these paintings and the answer came out loud and clear.

When I spend my time creating paintings from an intuitive place, allowing the painting to evolve I learn so much about myself through the process. I learn about my perfectionist tendencies, I learn how I respond to fears when they arise, I learn to be in touch with my feelings...all of my feelings...good and bad.

Each session teaches me something that is far more valuable than the actual painting I create. It is the process that is so powerful. It's a window into my soul and into the dark parts that I like to keep hidden.

If I could run a recorder that could tape my thoughts as I progressed through a painting it would be the most enlightening thing you've ever heard. You would be a witness to the moments of bravery that push me forward even when I know with all my heart that I am going to suck and no matter what I do it will never be enough (that's a nice negative voice isn't it?).

You would hear the back and forth banter I have with the scared child inside that thinks she isn't good enough. You would be shocked to hear the foul language and bravado that surfaces when I am riding a wave of empowerment. You would celebrate with me as I dance around the room singing a song that celebrates the moments of pure joy and love I uncover as I paint.

It's a special thing this process painting. And the thing is it loses some of its power when the finished painting is posted for all to see. Because without this running tape of the powerful moments that arise as it's painted, it seems to be just another painting.

But the thing is those moments can be raw and vulnerable and can seem so difficult to post for all the world to see. I mean really, who wants everyone to know their deepest, darkest emotions and fears?

This painting for example is one of my favorites. Not because it looks particularly good but because I started it with no idea of what I was going to paint. I taped up two pieces of poster board on the wall and began writing all over it. I had an intention for this painting, I wanted to explore my career and see what emerged for me. After I filled the page with words I just dipped my brush into the first color that called to me.

I kept listening to my inner voice and painting with wild abandon. While I was painting it I was listening to the most powerful, awesome rock music that helped me tune into the part of myself that is powerful and awesome.

As the painting emerged I understood what every brush stroke was telling me. Each ring of this circle represented a chapter in my life, a piece of who I am. There was an understanding that I have accumulated enough of these rings and now it is time to head outward, to share them with the world.

I added a halo of white that represents my life force, my aura, the beauty in my human form with the knowledge that there is more than the eye can see. It's mystical and powerful.


I added a small white circle in the center that represents my soul and I put a tree inside that represents life and balance. The trees reaching upward into the sky, into the universe and the roots deep into the earth grounding and connecting that energy.

So you see, if you just looked at this painting you would see some nice circles and a bit of a starburst of sorts. It would seem fine, nice even. BUT when you know the whole story...It changes everything!

21 Secrets

I have really been enjoying my time in my painting class BIG with Connie. She is amazing and the program she has created has been amazing. So I am super excited that she is offering a new program for art journalling called 21 Secrets because it's going to be the bomb.
Connie got together 21 awesome artists to share a secret about art journalling. That's 21 secrets...thus the name. The group is diverse and talented and I can't wait to see what kind of morsels of information they have for us.
I am especially excited about learning what Effy Wild has to teach. She is doing The Art Journal as Soul Mirror. Now that's my kind of art journalling. I love diving in deep and creating something from the soul.
Tami Chacon is doing something that intrigues me. She is doing Surreal Journal Fun. She is going to show us how to take images from magazines and turn them into works of art. Apparently it is a resist technique. Sounds new and cool.
Angelina Thompson is doing Letters From Your Inner Child. Again, right up my alley. It will be interesting to see how she encourages us to turn this into a journal page. So cool!
And of course Connie will be sharing her secrets with us. She is doing Get it Out, Get it Down. Secrets to face your journal fearlessly and paint like crazy. I can't say enough about Connie so I am psyched to see what she has in store for us.
I am thinking that while this is great for art journalling, I think it will also be great for anyone. You can use these tips for painting, writing, crafting, and healing.
21 Secrets goes on Sale on Monday. I can't wait!

Soul Whispers

I have been really enjoying the process of making the soul collage cards but I didn't necessarily like the fact that the cards were separate from each other and from the writing I was doing about them.

I decided to switch it up a little and create a journal. I bought a Moleskine journal which is the perfect size. I create my collage on the left page and then I can journal about it on the right side. It works perfectly! I love it.

The first page I created is I Can Do Anything

I am the one who can make anything happen. I am strong, soft, fun, serious. I am a perfect combination. Everything I do from inspiration works out for me.

My Love Fest

Today I decided to dig a little deeper into my painting that I created last week. It was a painting of one of the most beautiful memories I have. I was in Colorado with my son Cody. He was rock climbing way up high and I was sitting down on the warm rocks watching him.

The sun was shining and it felt so good. The rocks were warm and the breeze was cool. It was a perfect day. As I sat there watching him it was as if time stood still and the sky opened up and a ray of positive energy filled my entire body. I was immediately brought to tears of joy and gratitude. It was so powerful and lasted just a moment. So beautiful.

Today's painting was all about exploring that moment and that bond I have with my son. I didn't know what I was going to paint so I just started smearing paint on the canvas when it became clear that I needed to draw my son and me. I wrapped him up in my hair like a little cocoon of love. I added clouds (or waves, whichever they look more like to you) and some fun hearts.

I am so happy with this painting but more importantly I am so happy with the process of painting it. I spent the afternoon basking in love and joy, and happiness. Thinking about all the things I love about my son and my entire family. What a gift today has been.

Going Deep

It's amazing what we can uncover and reveal about ourselves through art when we do it from and intuitive place, free from fear of making mistakes and needing to have a completed work of art. Just opening up and allowing what is there to pour itself onto the page is what I am learning in this painting class called BIG.

Not only is it BIG but it can be a bit scary too...but in a good way. What I mean is that it can be scary to dive deep into ourselves where the not so shiny bits hide out. Deep down below the smiles and the friendly persona that we have. The good part is that when we allow ourselves to go there we heal a little part of who we are...who we are afraid we really are. It's like peeling an onion and every journey down deep peels another layer off that cleanses our soul and gets us closer to who we truly are at the core.

This day of painting began with the intention of painting a memory of a time in my life when I loved to dress up as a gypsy. I wanted the painting to be free and light and fun and you can see the beginning of it above.

While I was painting a song came on the radio that brought back another memory, a time when I was unhappy in my first marriage. I felt unloved and unimportant and it all came back in that moment standing there before my paper with brush in hand.

I dipped the paintbrush into the white and began to paint over the face. I wanted to get a good base to start laying down color but as I covered it I heard the words, "You were a ghost." I knew it was true and that truth was staring back at me from my paper.

I continued to just listen and let the painting emerge and when I was finished I was flabergasted that I had created something so dark and sad. I didn't want to share it with anyone, I wanted to keep it to myself. I was embarrased.

As I thought about it over the weekend and talked to my good friend Carrie about it today I realized that I have nothing to be embarrased about. That this is a part of who I am. I have been through a lot in my life and not all of it is happy and shiny. I would be lying to myself and the world if I tried to cover up the darker parts. And by letting it out I've been able to heal it. It was like a bit of closure for that time in my life. In fact I created another painting after that to seal the energy and finish the healing process.

So here I am. All the parts of me. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Painting BIG!

I signed up for an online painting class called BIG with Connie over at dirty footprints studio. It's been amazing and I am having the absolute best time painting on big poster boards. I highly recommend the class to anyone and everyone. Connie has really created something wonderful and I'm only on week 2!!! I can't imagine what's going to come out of it by week 6.

I thought I would share a few of my paintings so far.

More fun with Soul Collage Cards

After having so much fun making my first two SoulCollage cards I decided to get a little organized so I could whip them up whenever I am in the mood.

I went through some magazines and ripped out pages that speak to me either for the background or the objects. I got this nice stationary box that the pages fit into perfectly and I put them all in the box with my rubber cement (which works soooo good for this), scissors, and the window I made to help me view the finished card. Everything is in one place, ready to go.

Money is Fun

I am the one who loves money and knows that it is energy, positive energy that is meant to flow. I know that it is OK to have money and I am happy.

This card wants me to allow my inner child to have peace with money. It wants me to allow money to flow to me and through me. It wants me to live a full life of joy and happiness and to know that money can be a part of it.

The energy this card gives me is excitement and fun and living life full on.


Cherishing Love

I am the one who honors love, who cradles it, cherishes it and helps it bloom. I am the one opens her heart to the joy of love and allows that love to flow outward.

This card wants me to appreciate the relationships I have and to take care of them softly and beautifully. It wants me to tend to my great loves and to make them feel special and make sure they know they are loved.

The energy this card gives me is love, softness, gratitude, and connection.