It's always amazing to me how art has the power to revitalize me, teach me and reveal the patterns I live in every aspect of my life. My most recent journey into paint is no exception. In fact, the experience of painting this mandala shone even more light on myself than ever before.
Of course I started with an intention on what I wanted to learn from this experience. I wrote it in my journal and started painting away. Oh the ups and downs I experienced were amazing. Frustration, chaos, boredom, anger, hatred and power are only a snippet of the emotions that flowed through me and through my brush. Each step forward was met with new emotions. There were moments I wanted to give up, to chuck the whole thing in the garbage and I painted those feeling out and finally I reached a point of surrender.
Once I was able to surrender everything flowed. Every stroke I made was pure joy. Watching the colors blend and the shapes form made my heart skip a beat. Playing with the color, manipulating the negative space, and adding the tiny details were pure bliss.
When I finished I KNEW I was finished. It felt right. It felt perfect and not the kind of perfect that stifles and holds one up to impossible expectations, it was a perfect expression of where I am and what I'm experiencing.
Of course I had to dive in deeper with a barrage of questions so I would find the messages this painting had for me. It all made complete sense for me and I was beaming with my new found knowledge.
And then I got to a question that asked me to reflect on my original intention for the piece. Don't you know that I completely forgot about the intention I set the week prior. I flipped back in my journal and found what I wrote. I did a double take...is this really what I wrote? I had to read it twice. Oh my! A lightbulb went off and it all came together in the most amazing way...like MAGIC!
Part of me wishes I had taken pictures of all the layers this mandala went through (there are at least 15 layers below), but a bigger part of me is tickled pink to have my own secret journey buried beneath the layer just for me.