I decided to add a page to my Smash Journal about my word for the year. There isn't much on it just yet as we are only in the second month of the year but I am intending on adding to it throughout the year.
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| I wrote: Taking ownership of your life. Getting done necessary things so you have time to enjoy life. Balance. Letting others be responsible for their lives. |
The truth about this choice of words is that I need to redefine what the word means to me. I think I have some skewed ideas about responsibility that include negative beliefs on both ends of the spectrum.
On one hand I shirk responsibility because it is boring and confining...who wants to be a slave to responsibility? Additionally there seems to be this idea that if I am not responsible, nothing can be my fault...I am at the whim of others and live my life in reactionary mode. It is a bit of victim mentality that can only hold me back.
On the other hand I think there has become a murky line between responsibility and control for me. This really applies to my relationship with my children. If I'm "responsible" I am in control and if I am in control, everything is my responsibility. It's funny because this end of the spectrum is also tied to the whole victim thing. Poor me, I have to be responsible for EVERYTHING!
It is amazing to me how I can have beliefs that are so completely in opposition to each other and yet are so perfectly tied together. Our subconscious is an amazing thing don't ya think?
I love how things unfold when you focus on a word of the year. You never know what you're going to learn or how it will be revealed. I look forward to filling this page with all kinds of wonderful insights.
How are things going with your word of the year?
I love this! I think I have some hangups with that word too, so maybe I'll journal about that today.
ReplyDeleteMy word is Stability, and things are going pretty well. Since I've started working full time, we are much more stable and it clears away a lot of the money stress that was clouding my mind. Now I know what I need to do, I've accepted it and I'm working on putting those things into actions so I can build a stable foundation for my art career.
Great insight Michelle! My word for this year is AMAZING...and so far from some very deep things to the very simple...things have been AZAZING when I take the time to be mindful :)
ReplyDelete@McKella...I like your word and think it is so cool that you are building a stable foundation for your art career.